My nervous system is hitting the brakes full force.

Just as I’m trying to set up Life Starts At 41—a platform that’s been on my heart for months—everything inside me is slamming on the brakes.

For over 16 months, I’ve been diving deep into trauma, healing, nervous system work, mindset shifts, and spiritual truth.

I’ve accumulated so much knowledge, and I finally feel like I have a solid foundation to work with—something I can trust.

Something I can use to help myself and also others break free and move forward too.

But… nothing is happening on most days.
Not because I don’t care.
Not because I’m lazy.

It looks like procrastination.
Some people might even call it laziness.
But I’ve come to learn it’s something deeper than that.

It’s freeze state.
A classic trauma response.
And often it takes me a long time to realize that it is just that.

Because it doesn't feel like being frozen.
It feels like being numb, or lost in overwhelm.
It can feel like brain fog and not really knowing where to begin.

It feels like being able to function but not being able to act.
It feels like many reasons are blocking you and you feel so powerless against them.

But from the moment when I am fully getting aware of it, I can finally work with it. Instead of waiting for the paralyzed feeling to flow away - which can take days, weeks or months.

My nervous system is trying to protect me—from what it thinks is danger.
Even though my conscious mind is excited and full of ideas, nothing comes out of my hands. Not in the way my mind thinks I can. It’s frustrating beyond words.

Today I did a visualization technique I learned in therapy—something called “revision.” It’s helped me tremendously before in different area's, so I tried it again.

I asked myself: Where does this stuck feeling really come from? What are it's roots, where did this begin?

And what came up surprised me.
It took me back to old memories—painful ones I hadn’t consciously connected to this feeling.
It’s too raw to share all the details right now.
But I’ll say this:

Every time in the past that I’ve tried to get unstuck…
Every time I tried to change my life or choose peace…
Things fell apart.

At least three major moments come to mind.
Moments where taking action led to heartbreak, problems, and upheaval.
So no wonder my body is saying: NO.

No wonder my nervous system is hitting the brakes.
It thinks it’s keeping me safe.
And in a way—it is.

It’s genius!
It recognizes patterns long before I do.

But how do we move through this?

How do we break free from a freeze response that’s doing its best to protect us, even when we don’t need protecting anymore?

Here’s what I’m doing—and maybe it’ll help you too:

• Thank your nervous system.

Yes, even out loud. The body is always listening.
It has done an incredible job trying to protect you.

• Stop being angry at yourself.

This isn’t laziness. It’s survival.
And now that you know what it is, you can begin to lovingly change the pattern.

• Create new safety.

Tell your body: “We are safe now.”
Do somatic exercises.
Hug yourself.
Shake out the tension.
Take slow breaths and say: “Thank you, but we’re okay now.”

• Celebrate tiny steps.

Every little action is a victory.
Each time I write a blog post or update my site, I tell my body:

See? Nothing bad happened. We can do this. We can thrive now.

It may take time.
I’m not fully consistent yet, with all that I want to do and share online.
I can’t always share everything I want to share because my nervous system needs time to learn that we are safe now.

But I’m doing it.
Step by step.
Gently.

And I’m teaching my nervous system that this new life—this new way—is safe.

And if you're stuck too, I want you to know:

You can do the same.
You’re not broken.
You’re not lazy.

You’re beautifully wired to survive.
And now, you’re learning how to thrive.
One safe, celebrated step at a time.

With love,

Denise