If you've felt stuck for years, unable to find a way out, there might be deeper issues you're unaware of.

This was the case for me for decades. I've come to learn that I have CPTSD. And while this surely doesn’t have to be the case for everyone, I do believe trauma—or let’s call it inner wounding—is what’s blocking many people from living their true purpose.

In this blog post, I want to shine a light on my experience of going through life with undetected and undiagnosed trauma. It might help you realize that your inner wounds could be running the show—without you even knowing it.

Before I was diagnosed with CPTSD, I knew hardly anything about it. And to be honest, it sounded like a pretty heavy label. I never suspected it could apply to me. I thought it was only for people who had gone through major traumatic events—physical or sexual abuse, neglect, or parents who made them feel like a burden for simply existing.

That wasn’t me. Sure, there were issues at home growing up, but nothing that extreme. My parents loved me and took care of me. And yet, I found myself living a life that never truly blossomed. It was more about surviving and staying afloat. I never connected the dots. And neither did any of the many therapeutic professionals I saw.

So what did I feel and experience growing up until 41, without knowing what was causing my struggles? Maybe you'll recognize some of these.

• From the age of 12, I slowly began to have issues with friendships. Before that, I felt I was doing okay. But once I got to middle school, even though I had friends, I began to notice I was different. The older I got, the harder it became to connect.

• I was never able to finish any schooling. I had a good brain, but it often felt like it was working against me. Concentration issues, overwhelm, and anxiety only grew worse with time.

• I struggled with binge eating. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t stop. Even reaching out for help—many times—didn’t lead anywhere. Over the years, I gained more weight and lost confidence in my ability to change. I hated how I looked and felt increasingly insecure.

 

• I left home early. I had my own place at 18, was pregnant by 19, gave birth to my son at 20, and got married. Things looked okay for a while. But by 23, I was a divorced single mom.

• All my relationships were difficult. They were good guys and we shared good moments, but each relationship ended in a toxic dynamic that repeated over and over. I couldn’t understand why.

• I had episodes of anxiety and depression. For a long time, I didn’t even know what it was. I just felt awful and adjusted my life around it—becoming more withdrawn and lonely.

• School and work burned me out. I gave everything I had to make things work, but it always ended with me crashing from exhaustion. I couldn’t figure out why it kept happening.

• I ended up on disability. Every effort to get out of it failed—whether I worked 80 hours a week or pushed my body until it broke. It always ended in burnout or disappointment.

• Many people liked me, but I couldn’t build the relationships I longed for. Some people seemed to hate me just for existing. It was so confusing—I tried to be good and kind, but often felt treated like an enemy.

• I often felt irritable, angry, frustrated. I was always chasing something: fighting to get ahead, to stay afloat, to be loved. I felt abandoned, anxious, panicked, lonely. I felt the deepest, darkest emotions—like I didn’t want to be here anymore. I felt betrayed, weird, different, not good enough, in the way, a burden, a failure, unworthy, lazy, unloved, unheard, overlooked, misunderstood.

And yet, I tried to be kind. Most people know me as a loving woman with intelligence and talent. And I am.

But the endless negativity seemed inescapable—and it was ruining my life. It might be doing the same to you.

I believe there’s a good person in you too—someone who just wants peace and a better life. But maybe you don’t understand why life feels so hard. That’s where I was—until I finally began to find answers.

I still have hard days. But things are changing. Slowly, life is becoming lighter. 

Follow me on my journey, my friend. I want to share every gem I’ve found—and will continue to find, so your life can become lighter too.

Together, we’ll unravel the mystery, transmute the pain, and manifest a life of purpose.

I'm on the path to healing, and it's already so much better. I can't wait to see how things unfold—and you’ll get to see that this healing is possible for you too.

With love,

Denise